Cutting a dash in old fashioned cars - and where to stick a parking ticket

  On many car park parking tickets that have to be displayed in your car, there are instructions of where and how to place the item so it can be read by a warden. This is relatively easy if there is a peel-off backing that allows you to stick the ticket to the windscreen. But the instructions were written by someone sitting at a warm desk in a dry office who only had knowledge of current cars.

More Stories

It's Valentine's Day......rumour has it!

"Excitement abounds.  St. Valentine’s Day approaches.  Who will receive cards?  Expectation around the office is high.  Egos are in overdrive." MT reader John Elliot takes a wry look at Valentine's Day

This year's 'Darwin Awards' - how stupid can you get?

Yes, it's that magical time of year again when the Darwin Awards are bestowed, honouring the least evolved among us.

The petrol pump and Idiot No 2...

Going out to the shops used to be a straightforward affair. Now technology has made it a journey to the third circle of hell, says Joy Matthews.

It started with a snore...testing, testing!

  One thing that I have become aware of, through bitter experience, is that the medical profession are pathologically incapable of resisting the urge to test people for something.  Doesn’t matter what – just something! Philip Whiteland lives to tell the tale - just.

It started with a snore

I seem to have been seeing quite a bit of the medical profession recently.  Or, I suppose more accurately, the medical profession have been seeing quite a bit of me.  Let me explain.

An atheist was walking through the woods...

Thanks to reader M Keegan for sending in this email joke...

It never happened in my day

I think it was that great philosopher, Sir Michael Philip Jagger, who wrote “what a drag it is getting old”.

Why I won't be celebrating Burns Night

'A Man's A Man For A' That' write Burns, and the idea of hosting a “Burns’ Night” has always appealed to me - and I suggested as much to my wife as far back as November. The bagpipes, the haggis and readings from the great man would make for a convivial evening amongst friends. But she did not approve and I lost the argument by two votes to one (she carries the casting vote).

The tale of "Mr Careful"

"Mr Careful had decided to book a taxi for his homeward journey. The Mr Men’s New Year’s party had been full of good cheer and that meant it would have been foolhardy to get behind the wheel with alcohol in the system. All his old friends had been there. He had enjoyed the company of Mr Cheerful, the jokes of Mr Chuckle and the antics of Mr Upside Down. The only sour note came as he chatted to Mr Know-It-All."

 

One MT reader takes a wry look at the current economic situation.

I might as well face it, I’m addicted to …

Hi, my name is Philip and I have an addictive personality...

'Best Kept Secret'

 'Best Kept Secret'. A contradiction, surely? This curious phrase suggests that by divulging the whereabouts and charms of a secret holiday destination, the travel writer is not to be trusted. Well, a secret is a secret!

Glad tidings? Bah, humbug!

It’s upon us - that time of year again. Good will to one and all. If only...

An Introduction To The World Of Ility’s

One of the more worrying aspects of growing older is entering the dark and increasingly dismal world of ility’s, writes MT reader Terry Galligan. But there is a cure!

 

I can't forget children's TV - as much as I try

Being a mother of six - at the final count - I suffered more than my share of Children’s TV for my sins. If children keep you young, then this must be what aged me.